Brotherly Forge

Vibe

6 min read

The “dark isolation music” ambient playlist “Songs for an empty world” by artists like “Mount Shrine” and mixed by Atrium Carceri for the “Dark Ambient Music” label “Cryo Chamber”, “focusing on dark atmospheric music with a cinematic edge.”

I want to start writing in this entire vibe, that’s why. I’m a fiction writer and have written a lot already, but this is a completely different world. I have enjoyed this vibe for years though, along with 3 AM small-town lo-fi and all that. But I have yet to actualize these yet into my writing in a way that feels like I have truly written hundreds of thousands of words in their entire feel. I guess it’s not a bad thing that I haven’t done that, since to write that prolifically would be incredibly impressive. So I should really just take my time and slowly write about all of my experiences, whether it be Roblox, coding and making games in Roblox Studio, my past memories of traveling, school, church, and all that, and many, many more. I have already written over 3.5 million words in my autobiography-journal, so I have a lot of resources. But it is different when you’re not writing non-fiction and you want to embrace the spirit of word pictures and “show, don’t tell” of fiction. And I have already 84 vignettes demonstrating my strong, budding relationship to “show, don’t tell” in a total of 40,000 words1. It is just a matter of time before I transmute/convert everything into fiction, including this particular dark isolation music vibe. Imagine that? An entire book centered on that particular 3 AM lo-fi feeling, that particular dark isolation music “empty world”. It goes on and on. There are endless sources of inspiration. I can even do a re-interpretation of the beginning of The 5th Wave when I read back then in my cousin’s room and how it felt like because I did not read any further than that. It goes on and on, and I am not without inspiration, vibes, and memories from which to draw. It is just a matter of patience and taking my time. I even wrote in my mother’s 2014 Samsung phone a fantasy story called Forge of Brothers back in 2015 and 2016, and even that has its particular vibe. And even the Wattpad concept-stories I wrote in late 2019 and 2020 had their own unique vibe. It never ends. It is just a matter of reaping this Farmville harvest. Countless sources for inspiration and specificity. It is just a matter of taking the time to capture things precisely, and that can take time to do, since the brain is not a machine that can just generate things on the fly. It develops a relationship with words for better and for worse, since I might get used to resting on the laurels of a pre-existing lexicon and vocabulary in terms of word pictures, structures, storytelling formulas, character archetypes, internal thought processes, analytical complexes, and all that. But to get this out of the way, I just need to keep finding new ways of get myself out of the comfort zone. With the help of LLMs in helping me discover the word for things that I never had the word for and with the help of personal creative developmental projects2, this “de-conventionalization” is possible.

Increasingly Emotional Responses to an LLM

  1. Analytical writing does not contradict fiction writing. You can perform both. They are different modes.
  2. There is no bridging the gap between the analytical and the sensory. This has already been accomplished in the 84 vignettes, which are explicitly mentioned in the text.
  3. No, their primary challenge is not integrating analytical and sensory. This is already done.
  4. No, there is no over-reliance on analytical and systematic. It has literally already been proven by the explicit mention of fiction and “show, don’t tell” already being done and not just done, but done consistently over the course of 84 vignettes.
  5. It already happened. I do not understand this idea of “over-engineering”. It already happened. It’s already done. There is no bridging the gap when the thing already happened. It happened. It happened. It happened. It happened. It happened. It happened. It happened. It happened. It happened. It happened. There is no anxiety of proof. It happened already.
  6. I can’t even say a fucking fact without being told that I’m convincing myself. It did happen. I did give the quantity. The number. Do I have to show you the entire collection of vignettes? How long must I do this?
  7. It’s over. I’m deleting this passage. I’m not going to talk about my feelings to an LLM about this matter. Stupid robot

Self-Responses

1st Layer:

  1. The fact that the author included this is very, very strange, vulnerable, interesting, open, and compelling
  2. There is a weird strength in this. Being able to take ownership of this is very, very, very hard to do.

2nd Layer:

  1. It’s strange, no? They show the outburst and immediately admit it by calling it “emotional”, and then they show their self-responses to that even.
  2. It’s weird, no? If it was just the outburst, okay, that’s crazily something already. but to show their own self-responses? that’s like showing your hand and then showing your hand again.

3rd Layer:

  1. It’s so honest and contained and composed that it feels like fiction, like it was engineered honesty. But if it isn’t, then it’s the author being very good at re-composing themselves.

4th Layer:

  1. probably one of the most structurally complex pages, if not the most.

Footnotes

  1. This proves my capacity to synthesize word pictures based on my active note taking and reading of various texts from the 19th, 20th, and 21st century from real-life books that I brought to the cafe and digital books from Google Books. Rather than analysis paralysis, this is set in real-life experiences. ↩

  2. E.g, using a Zettelkasten via Obsidian and Quartz in order to make it so that each phrase and word has its own note and so incentivizes the creation of a new phrase every time to prevent stepping over the note that already exists for that phrase, which nevertheless can be expanded but would be better as a single fiction passage in each note to prompt expansion of phrases rather than of the fiction passages in the note under that Wikilink note itself ↩

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